Chase Introduces Himself
Hey there, my name is Chase Osborne, and this is just a little bit about me and my life’s journey thus far.
-I turned 23 years old last month
-I have worked for Starbucks for 5 years and I also teach piano at a local studio
-My favorite color is green
-I have one dog and two cats that I love dearly
-My pass time is usually spent building bikes
-Indianapolis is for now my home which has taken me some time to come to terms with
-And last but not least I am also a female to male transgender.
I was raised Apostolic Pentecostal, and my father is the pastor of a local Apostolic church here in Indy. For anyone who isn’t sure what that is exactly, I wasn’t aloud to cut my hair, wear pants, or do anything that would blur the biblical black and white gender roles. When you pass a large group of women all in jean skirts hair to their knees, those are more than likely Pentecostals. I was never permitted to do anything secular, I went to a Pentecostal High school, and I was only allowed to hang out with other Pentecostal kids resulting in pure ignorance until the age of 16. My mother put me into Indianapolis Children’s choir, It was the first time I had ever done anything outside of the church. There I met my very first homosexual and shortly after I met a girl. I was way too scared to come out to my parents as a lesbian, I knew they would never stand for that behavior in their household so I kept it to myself. Two months before my high school graduation I was caught holding hands with my girlfriend on campus. I was expelled and my parents were called to be made aware of situation. my parents asked me to move out the same day. I remember thinking back on that day when I was still trying to come to terms with being transgender, thinking how will I ever get through coming out again? Going over it in my head, what will I do differently knowing all that I know now. I will have a support system. I will not continue to surround myself with people who care about me in spite of, but with people who actually support and agree with my decision.
Shortly after moving out of my parents house I cut off all my hair and went shopping for my first pair of pants. It felt really good but I remember wanting more. I remember thinking I should feel more comfortable now that I get to act and look however I want. So I got some tattoos, pierced my nose, and gauged my ears. I assumed it was just me lashing out, going over board with real world exposure. I continued with that theory for two years.
Three months after my 20th birthday I made the decision to start binding. up until this point I had toyed with the idea of being transgender, but stone butch, or gender queer seemed like a much easier road. when I put the bind on and put my favorite T-shirt on over it I knew instantly that this may be a long road, but its the right one. I started going to therapy, which I hated but did me a great service. This was one of the hardest points in my transition because I was so ready to be on hormones, and I was really very bitter that I had to wait. I received my letter after about 4 months of therapy and was prescribe 3.5 ml of testosterone a week (my current dosage is 4.5ml). I was the happiest boy alive.
The happiness didn’t last all that long though, I now had to deal with telling people I wasn’t all that close to something that seemed very personal to me at the time. The First thing being the name and gender marker change on Facebook. I expected to lose some Facebook “friends” and I thought I had a pretty good idea of who those “friends” would be. I did not expect to lose 108 Facebook friends. Secondly I faced the never ending task of explaining my name and gender change to Starbucks customers that I had been serving coffee to for the past 3 years. some people were so supportive, but most were confused. I then realized the overwhelming amount of adults that have no comprehension of transgenderism even in its most basic definition. people fear what they do not understand. I learned quickly that I didn’t even miss the 108 people who unfriended me on Facebook. Looking back on it I highly suggest cleaning out the garbage first and avoid the self pity. Starbucks taught me patience, politely telling the same people everyday “my name is Chase now”, or “actually its he not she” was exhausting. sometimes I knew they were doing it deliberately and to have to maintain professionalism in those moments sucked but they really did make me learn self control.
Testosterone was a pretty speedy process for me. My voice dropped, and my hips narrowed out in just a couple months allowing me to pass amongst most strangers. I remember the feeling of knowing I’m being treated differently because I’m now viewed as male. they don’t explain things as in depth, they assume I understand and I suddenly have a vast amount of sports knowledge. You receive respect from men with no effort, while as a female you are constantly working to earn it.
Today I have the most self confidence I have ever had in my entire life. I have a beautiful, supportive girlfriend who loves me just the way I am. All of the people in my life stand by and up for me when I’m not around. I couldn’t say any of that a year and a half ago. My transition was the absolute best decision of my life and I truly believe that everyone deserves a chance to be who they truly feel they are on the inside. I hope that in the very least my story can show that you are not alone.